31 Dec Reflections on 2020

Tomorrow we will turn the page on a calendar into a new year. Perhaps this year more than any in our lifetime, we sense the need for a clean page and a new start.

And yet the turn of the page on a calendar does not mean the change of our lives as they are, with their present joys and troubles. When I recently asked my goddaughter how she felt now that she was six, she responded, “Well, I feel the same.”

If we are honest, much of what we hope for in 2021 is a turning of circumstances, a brightening of dark places and a lifting of the heaviness that has so deeply permeated 2020.

This prayer, this hope for the brightening of darkness and lifting of heaviness, is certainly the stuff of God’s kingdom reign. And yet, we must also face in honesty, like my goddaughter, that the movement through days or years does not necessarily change us.

Change comes when we surrender our lives to God.

And so we must ask ourselves as we end this year whether we have allowed the circumstances of this past year to deform or transform us. Circumstances as they stand do not have power over us. The power lies in our response.

If we draw near to the light of God’s presence, what is revealed? Have we clung to God as our Rock through the storms of this past year? Have we turned away from idols that are broken and useless? Have we forsaken false gods?

Light will certainly dawn in the darkness. Every life will have its share of valleys and mountain tops. Some will have more of each, to be sure.

It will not do to curse the year behind us as we raise a glass to the year ahead. If we stand with breath in our lungs, we are blessed. It is enough.

Now is a time for thanksgiving mingled with lament. It is a time to reflect and also to repent. And it is, perhaps foremost, a time to re-confess where we place our hope.

This was not a year for getting ahead or maximizing productivity. For the kids, this wasn’t a year of great academic or extracurricular achievement. It has been a year marked by boundaries, constraints, and limitations. Our normal routines and social activities have been disrupted, our goals often stymied, our ambitions and well-laid plans brought to a screeching halt.

And yet, all of these “no’s” have led to some profound “yes’s.” Yes to more family time. Yes to less hurry. Yes to more exposure to and marination in the natural world. Yes to rest, solitude, sympathy, simplicity.

We have learned this year to fight for what really matters to us and what we believe, from Scripture, matters to God. We have fought to stay connected to the church, the Body of Christ. We have fought to maintain and cultivate relationships often in creative ways.

And by the grace of God, we have endured and grown in the process. The events of this year have served to clarify our vision and secure our hope. Our hope is not in favorable circumstances, a thriving social life, a plentiful bank account. Our hope is in Christ. We cannot cling to that which is shaking and changing all around us, but we can cling to the Rock, the unchanging and eternal one.

This New Year’s Eve, this is where I find myself – clinging to Christ. Praising him for every means of his grace and provision.

And so we can enter into the new year ahead humbled and yet forgiven, weak and yet strengthened, and above all loved and leaning on our beloved.