05 Apr Pick Up Your Shield of Faith

Alarm bells started dinging in my head as I listened to the conversation across the table unfold. The decades old narrative kicked into gear as I sat with a polite smile pasted on my face, “Oh, you did that thing I love to do but can’t do right now? And you did it with one of my close friends? And you didn’t invite me? Awesome.”

Almost immediately, the familiar spirit of the fear of rejection turned my thoughts on a quick downward spiral. An uncomfortable prick of insecurity whispered, “No one really likes you. You’re not good enough. They didn’t want you there.”

This whole scenario occurred in thirty seconds flat. Thirty seconds is all it takes for me to hop on the well-traveled train conducted by the fear of rejection, which makes a brief stop at self-pity junction followed by a steep descent into the wretchedly sensitive ravine.

But this time … this time, I was ready. I saw where this bullet train was going and I bailed as fast as I could. As I continued to listen to my friend’s completely harmless recitation of her day, I imagined a huge, shining shield coming up over my body to protect my mind. The comments I was perceiving as fiery darts from the enemy sizzled as they bounced off my glistening shield, rendered harmless by my protective shield of faith.

Three weeks ago, I would have stewed over this interaction for days in an endless (and completely unhelpful) point/counterpoint barrage of supremely circular arguments.

Thankfully, this little exchange happened after I had the privilege of teaching on Ephesians 6:10-20 last week (you can check it out here) and the Armor of God was fresh in my mind. At our table discussion following the teaching, we shared which piece of armor we needed the most. Ordinarily, I would choose the Helmet of Salvation because my mind is so frequently encumbered by distracting worries. Upon further reflection, I decided that the piece I need most right now is the Shield of Faith. When we are covered by the shield of faith, we are completely protected from the fiery darts of the evil one. Our enemy keeps coming and coming at us, but greater is he who is in us than he who is in the world. The shield of faith will render those fiery arrows harmless.

The painful thoughts that used to throw me off balance without a lick of effort no longer carry their powerful sting. I acknowledge the attack; I see the arrows. The difference is they can’t hurt me anymore. I see them for what they truly are- lies and distractions. God has good and holy work for me to do, but whenever I get tripped up with this particular mental spiral, my immediate instinct is to withdraw, isolate, and disconnect from relationships, which is exactly what Satan wants. You know who’s not really a threat to Satan’s schemes? A lonely, disconnected mom of two who’s listening to a fear of rejection loop in her head and believing lies about her worth. That’s why the shield of faith is so critically important for me, for all of us. When we carry the shield, the attacks will come, but we will not be overcome. Satan cannot penetrate the shield of determined, living faith in God.

Did it take me a couple of tries to successfully let this episode go? You bet. Old habits die hard. Even though picking up the shield of faith and preaching God’s word to myself, “You are loved. You are wanted. You are worthy,” can feel toilsome because I have to do it so often, trust me, it works! My mentor calls this exercise “self-preaching.” Put on the Armor of God and preach the Word of God (the Sword of the Spirit) to yourself over and over and over until it finally starts to register. When you find yourself assailed with fiery darts, pick up your shield of faith. God has provided all the armor you need to remain victorious in him.