07 Jan New Year, Same You

Rich, golden rays shone through the kitchen bay window, flooding the room with late afternoon light. I love the light right before the sun kisses the horizon and twilight falls. As I stopped to bask in the warm glow, my eye caught the thin layer of dust on the counter and the enormous water spots marring the window. “Yuck,” I thought, “I need to climb up there and clean that window and wipe those counters.” Suddenly, a little voice whom I’ve come to recognize as the Holy Spirit said, “Do you think that was the point of this moment, Natalie? Did I beckon you into the kitchen to see the mess? Why don’t you bask in the beauty of my light instead of focusing on the imperfections?

That small moment gave me an idea for this year. We wake up on January 1 in a new year, but as the same self. Rather than attempting a dramatic life overhaul, I thought it would be nice to pause and take stock of what’s working well in our lives. I want to focus on the light, not the imperfections.

As you enter this new year, I would encourage you to spend a few moments in the same practice. Not only will you feel good about some of the specific rhythms you’ve established as a family, you’ll also see that in the grand scheme of life, you are enough. Take time to enjoy the good parts and the blessings. If you’ve recently moved and you love your new home, enjoy that feeling. If you’ve started a new schedule or chore chart with the kids and it’s working well, give yourself a high five. Too often, we focus on the things that need changing, completely bypassing the wins, big or small.

Here are a few rhythms I’m enjoying in our family life:

Sleep:

Over the summer, we read Sleep Smarter and it’s completely revolutionized the way we approach sleep. The book takes a fascinating look at the science behind great sleep and why our bodies require sleep to thrive. Did you know that your money time sleep hours are 10 PM – 2 AM? Neither did I! Our brains do a big chemical wash every night between those hours, healing and resetting the body’s systems. Since we started getting to bed earlier and focusing on quality sleep, our whole lives feel more manageable. Prioritizing sleep has been a game changer for both of us and it’s a habit we’re bringing into the new year.

The Miracle Morning and Getting Up Before Our Kids:

Around the same time we read the sleep book, our friends handed us the Miracle Morning books. I read Miracle Morning for Parents and Families and Pete read Miracle Morning for Salespeople. My husband led the charge on this practice, setting his alarm for what felt like the dead of night, but now I can say that I’m deeply grateful for this shift. I am not a morning person and I still hate getting up at zero dark thirty, but I am addicted to what the rest of my day feels like when I get up before my kids. I am a much better mom if I’ve had time to myself in the morning- I have more patience and enjoy my kids more. Getting up early also gives us a chance to connect before the craziness of the day sets in, and it has profoundly improved our marriage. While we still haven’t mastered the art of getting up early every single day, we’ve done it enough that it feels like a habit, and I’m counting that as a win.

Media Parameters:

I have a love-hate relationship with this rhythm. Several years ago, right after I’d finished law school, my husband encouraged us to adopt media parameters as a new year’s resolution. My media consumption skyrocketed in law school (even though we’ve never owned a TV, thank you streaming). Because all I did in school was read, I no longer enjoyed reading for relaxation, and instead took up binge-watching shows to unwind. Thankfully Pete does not share my addictive TV personality, so he was able to pull back the reins on our habits. Although it’s often imperfectly executed, the practice we’ve adopted is no media Monday-Thursday evenings. We read, relax, or tackle life administration on those nights, and then we can enjoy media on the weekends. Do I observe this while Pete’s traveling? Nope. Do we sometimes kick it to the curb after a long day with the kids? Yep. Still, it’s become the default for us and a practice we keep coming back to because we like the overall balance it provides.

Unscheduled Sabbath Saturdays:

This is my favorite rhythm, but the hardest one to observe. We love waking up on Saturday morning with absolutely nothing to do. No plans, no obligations, just a perfect, beautifully free day. We like to go on family hikes, bike rides, hit the Farmer’s Market, or build a fire and make a big breakfast. We occasionally meet up with friends if the opportunity arises but preparing for guests doesn’t dominate our day because it’s never a planned activity. House projects and birthday parties and travel frequently encroach on this lovely way to spend a day, but when we can guard our Saturdays, we do. Maybe I should call this rhythm Sacred Saturdays, because that’s how they feel. Sacred and restorative.

As we get back into the swing of things in this new year, I encourage you to focus on the sunlight coming through the windows of your life. Applaud what’s working well in your life and look right past those water spots.