02 Feb 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You

It’s a fact: Smartphones have changed life as we know it. With the world at our fingertips, we can access email, do online banking, utilize maps, search engines, and social media at any moment of the day.

For the large majority of us, our smartphones never leave our sides. They are often the first thing we check in the morning and the last thing we check and night.

If it is true that our smartphones have changed our lives, it is important that we consider how they have changed us – both for good and for bad. It is also important to consider how our use or abuse of smartphones have impacted our relationships both with God and others.

Do You Control Your Phone — Or Does Your Phone Control You?

This is one major question that author Tony Reinke seeks to answer in his book, “12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You.”.

The book’s description gives a good summary: “Drawing from the insights of numerous thinkers, published studies, and his own research, writer Tony Reinke identifies twelve potent ways our smartphones have changed us — for good and bad. Reinke calls us to cultivate wise thinking and healthy habits in the digital age, encouraging us to maximize the many blessings, to avoid the various pitfalls, and to wisely wield the most powerful gadget of human connection ever unleashed.”

I just finished reading Reinke’s book and found it biblical, convicting, timely, practical, and balanced. I believe this book can be a helpful tool for anyone who is seeking to navigate their smartphone use with wisdom and discernment.

As a parent, I know that my children watch the way that I live my life and will often imitate my behaviors and habits. My kids don’t have phones yet, but they watch the way that my husband and I interact with ours. This is both convicting and motivating! It is my desire to model for them some healthy (although imperfect) boundaries when it comes to interacting with technology.

Phone-Free Zones

Like every adult, there are times that I need to check email, respond to text messages (much of the time to arrange their play dates and group activities!) and get directions to places we are going, among other things. While I use my phone on a regular basis, I also want my kids to know that there are times that, barring emergency, they can reasonably expect that Mommy and Daddy will be phone-free. Here are a few of the areas of my life that I am seeking to preserve as “phone free”:

Meal Times – Meal times are a wonderful opportunity to touch base with family and hear their highs and lows of the day (this is something we do at dinner time). Not having a phone at the table communicates to them that we are fully present and we want to engage in face to face conversation.

School Time – As a homeschooling mom, I have set apart our morning hours for focused teaching time with my older children. I used to have my phone in our homeschool room, but a few months ago I made the decision to intentionally leave it in the kitchen when we head into our school room to begin working. I have personally found it is helpful for me not to have my phone nearby to distract me when I am teaching my children.

Devotional Time – We use an app on my phone called “Quick Voice” for our Scripture Memory practice. I have recorded the verses we are working on and we repeat them together before we begin our devotions. Once we are done, I’ll put the phone away so it’s not a distraction. I also leave my phone in another room when I am having personal prayer or devotional times.

Family Time – When we are reading together, playing games, going on walks or just spending time together, our goal is to be present in that moment and not absorbed in a screen. Sometimes, of course, stuff comes up – that’s life. But we aim for those times to be the exception rather than rule.

Driving Time – When it comes to safety, this is certainly the most important of times to resist digital distractions. We all know that texting and driving don’t go together. I am thankful that my new phone has a “driving” setting that detects when I am driving and keeps my phone from beeping, showing texts, or ringing when I am driving. It can even be set up to send an automatic text message to the person calling or texting saying, in essence, “Sorry, but I am driving right now and will get back to you when I’m off the road.” This really helps me avoid the pull to look at my phone when I’m in the driver’s seat.

Down Time – This is a topic that Reinke addresses in his book. If we allow ourselves to occupy every quiet moment we have with the distractions offered on our phones, we will sadly redefine what solitude looks like for us. I know that personally I have had to resist the urge to automatically check my phone for new texts or emails when there is a quiet moment.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that it is a good thing to just sit still and collect my thoughts in a moment of pause. Sitting alone quietly, free from distraction, can be a beautiful thing!

So, what are your thoughts? How do you think your phone is changing you? Do you have any goals when it comes to setting healthy boundaries with digital technology? I would love to hear from you!