28 Jul When You are Weary of Parenting Books and Advice

Her thoughts said, “I have been reading a spiritual book and I am confused and tired with trying to understand.”

Her Father said, “Leave that book and read the Book that thou lovest best; thou wilt find it much simpler.” ~ Amy Carmichael

With my eldest daughter nearing her teenage years,  I‘ve begun to think about the many parenting books I have read over the course of nearly 13 years. My journey into parenting books began, like most moms, while she was still in my womb. I didn’t have a clue about anything and wanted to feel confident about everything. I mean, my child’s life was at stake, right?! Now I laugh at my naivete.

I was taking a birthing class at the time, so I began with several books on labor and childbirth. Lots of opinions on that, by the way. Then I moved on to books covering the practical stuff like sleep training and daily care of infants. Lots of opinions on that, too.

My favorite book during pregnancy had nothing to do with these topics though. It was called “Praying for Your Unborn Child” by Francis MacNutt and helped me remember the most important thing I could do for my child while pregnant: pray for her.

As my daughter grew, I delved into books about discipline and biblical childrearing. This is where I ran into some road blocks. There were many opinions, methods, suggestions, and stump speeches about the best way to discipline and train a child….and this was only in the “Christian childrearing” section.

I grew a little wearier but also a little more humbled with each book I read. Wearier because I knew that I simply could not or would not implement all the suggestions in these books. Humbled because I knew that there would always be so much that I don’t know.

In recent years, I have read more books about specific aspects of childhood development, Christ-centered education, and books that deal with specific struggles my children are facing. Some of these books provided me with insights, ideas, and principles that have helped to ground my philosophy of parenting.

For other books, I would read one chapter, find myself scratching my head or losing interest, and return it to the shelf. Still other books would offer me just a few “gems” to take away that could help me and my children. I learned to pray while reading them and ask God to show me the timeless principles that could be applied rather than freak out over all the different methods and suggested “plans of action.”

READ THE BOOK YOU LOVE BEST

I have a confession to make: There have been times in my parenting journey that felt almost schizophrenic due to all the parenting methods I have digested over the years. As I grew conflicted about which of these methods I should try to implement, it forced me to simplify.

I knew that whatever methods or tools I might utilize from these resources for different parenting seasons, the most important thing that I could do is to be consistent and to point my children to Christ.

There were some seasons–even whole years–when I put away my parenting books. It’s not that the books were harmful; in most cases they offered  valuable, much-needed insight. But when I began to feel conflicted or confused about what my children needed from me, I knew I needed to simplify my thought processes.

I wrote recently to a friend that more than any book I’ve read on parenting, there’s nothing that has served me better than time spent seeking the Lord and asking for His help in mothering.  Many times I don’t know what to do. And even when I do feel completely confident in what my children need at that moment, I must still rely on God’s Holy Spirit to guide me and give me discernment.

We and our children are ever changing, growing, and developing. Our relationships with them will change as well. Wherever we are in our mothering journey, whether just beginning or empty nesters, we all are in need of Spirit-led wisdom for the present.

That is something we can only gain by turning to Christ and asking for his help.

When I am willing to tune my ear to His voice, He can show me when I may need to pull a parenting book off the shelf and read a certain chapter again or when I just need to put them all away and pray. And my honest experience has been that God’s Word itself and the godly advice of those I trust the most have provided counsel that far outweighs any book or methodology out there.

How about you? Have you become weary with parenting advice and methods? Do you need to take a break from parenting books and people’s opinions and just spend some time seeking the Lord for His wisdom? Take heart! His grace will supply what you need. I’d love to hear from you!