14 Jan The Most Important Work

I sat on the beach and watched the waves form, crest and then roll steadily towards the shore, leaving their mark on the sandcastles before retreating back into the ocean. The kids played alongside the water while doing their own repetitive work of building, tearing down, and building again. It was arduous work. I saw the sweat beading on their foreheads under the hot afternoon sun. But they didn’t mind; they were completely consumed with the task before them.

Upon their completion, a man stopped by – a “beach patrol officer,” if that’s even a job – to inform them that they must tear down their rather large hand-built structure before evening and cover up any holes. This was disappointing of course, but didn’t hinder them from relaxing and enjoying the fort of their creation for the few hours they had it.

As we walked away from the beach in the late afternoon, I reflected on the fleeting nature of all of it – the vacation, the sand creations, even the youthfulness of the children walking beside me. And that is what I can’t seem to move past thinking about these days – the children.

As I strode next to my six-year-old son and his friend, I noticed their little legs working hard to keep up with my own. So I slowed my pace to match theirs. And why not? There was nowhere else I needed to be than right where I was.

As a new year begins, I’ve found my ambitions are fewer and more focused these days. I want to spend copious amounts of time with my children. I want to play with them on their terms. I want to practice the presence of God with them and talk about His Word throughout our days.

For the last decade, I have been a teacher by trade and absolutely love to teach children – especially about God, the Bible, and the Church. But one thing I have learned over the last decade is that in order to teach them well, I need to spent a lot of time listening to them and asking thoughtful questions, connecting on their turf of play and banter and all the silent walking- beside moments that speak more than a thousand of my lectures ever can.

And that seems to be quite enough to occupy me for the next decade. Because when I sat on the beach and opened my hand, placing it up against the waves and the horizon, I saw her through my fingers – my thirteen-year- old. I hold up my hand and ponder often that number – five. Five are the years I have left with my oldest child still under my roof.

And so other personal goals – while they may be worthy endeavors – still don’t seem very urgent to me. She is what is urgent to me. These kids – they are my important work.

C.S. Lewis said it well: “Children are not a distraction from the important work. They are the important work.”

So I can say yes to another read-aloud. Another game of cards. A bike ride in the neighborhood. I can say yes to sledding on a Monday morning and squeezing our math in with hot cocoa in the afternoon. Because the snow might melt by tomorrow and the moment will have passed, as so many moments have passed before them. My 42-year-old self knows this well.

And if I am honest, I have moments of deep realization that this whole experience of raising children is going by so crazy fast that it takes my breath away and makes my eyes well up quickly with tears. But I know that what I need is not to try (unsuccessfully) to make it all stop, but to take it all in and be fully alive to and present in the moments.

To dig in the sand with my six-year-old and laugh hysterically with my nine-year-old when she finds the name of the character in the book we are reading is so silly she just can’t stop. To pay attention when my eleven-year-old says she would like to spend some time with just the two of us and respond with, “Well, now’s a good time for a Starbucks run, isn’t it?”

And to keep praying, “Lord, make me attentive to my children – to these precious ones growing up before my eyes, entrusted to my care for this window of time. Help me to hallow these fleeting moments by guiding them in truth and wisdom, guarding them from harm, and nurturing them in love. Help me to show them with my words and actions that they are the most important work.”