30 May Spiderman is Sitting Down

Coffee in hand, I walked into our sun porch which is also my younger kids play room which is also where I like to have time alone in the mornings before the kids wake up. Each morning when I enter the room, I notice creations they were working on the previous day: a fort, a lego house, a painting.

This time, as I settled into the loveseat and gingerly set my thermal mug on a stack of books, I glanced over to observe what appeared to be the newest Lego house creation. Everything seemed as it should be with this one – a swimming pool in the bedroom, a slide going from the bathroom to the kitchen – you know, the stuff of kids’ imaginations. But one new addition struck me, filling me with laughter and curiosity – in the room that I guessed was the bathroom sat my son’s play figure of Spiderman, sitting calmly on a chair.

I went about my time of prayer as usual and when my son came in some time later, I asked him directly, “Hey buddy, I like your lego house. Why is Spiderman sitting down?” Joseph looked almost embarrassed as he said, “Well, Mom, I think he needed to use the bathroom.”

At the risk of sounding silly, I’ll tell you that for weeks when I was alone with my thoughts, that image of Spiderman sitting down, you know, doing his business, kept coming to my mind. The more I thought about it, the more I loved it.

In a matter of a moment’s decision, my son had taken a superhero and turned him into a normal human. For many of us, the last 12-14 months has leveled us, humbled us, caused even those world-saving, high-achieving, master-minding humans among us to…well, sit down and reflect on our humanity.

The last few months in particular, it feels like a cloud is lifting around us here in Maryland. Things are opening up and life is looking more “normal.” As I reconnect with some folks I haven’t seen in over a year, I hear their stories. Some stories have a positive ending : “Our family has grown so much closer,” “I realize that I was running too hard,” etc. Other stories have been harrowing and heart wrenching: stories of family members’ suicides or suicide attempts due to isolation and depression, marriages splitting up due to increased stress and fighting, businesses failing due to the shutdown.

And I – what have I learned? How am I emerging from this pandemic? Here are some of my key takeaways. I have come to see that the an over-planned agenda of social functions is actually the inverse of genuine community. And I have come to love and fight for authentic, nurturing relationships in my life more than ever before.

I have also come to see that isolation is a distortion of solitude. And I have come to love and fight for life-giving, soul-enriching solitude in my life now more than ever. While isolation is a cold cutting off of what is good, a throbbing loneliness of the heart, solitude is an opening up to love – a warm blooming friendship with the living God, a reveling in His love.

Today I had a wonderful day. I prayed with my family. I exercised. I ate toast with homemade strawberry jam. I taught a child math. I caught up with a friend. I wandered around the gardens of our local monastery and smelled fifteen different varieties of roses. Feeling very Thoreau-like, I sat outside eating my dinner and watched a squirrel tenderly nibbling a nut.

All of this – the rich, overflowing life of love and fellowship, solitude and community, meaningful work and simple joys – is enough. It is more than enough for me. I don’t need a long list of accomplishments. I don’t want a color-coded, jam-packed calendar for myself or my kids. I want to push pause on my Audible book, pull out my earbuds, and stop to chat awhile, unhurried, in my neighbor’s yard. And I want to smell the roses – all fifteen varieties.

Spiderman is sitting down.