10 Sep A Prayer for Pre-K

It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally, a milestone will catch me off-guard. Sometimes sentiment bubbles up and swells into tears. Other times, pride, excitement, and deepening relationship with my growing-up boys casts sparkling light on a new day that makes it easier to relinquish their vanishing babyhood with fondness instead of sadness. And sometimes, transition is just no big deal at all. The tricky part is not knowing what to expect emotionally until it hits.

My Tucker started Pre-K last week. He began preschool 3 mornings a week last year, so this isn’t a true first, and it isn’t kindergarten. It’s an in-between milestone and not one I expected to ponder much until faced with his preschool graduation cap and gown.

Surprise.

Maybe because it’s the beginning of the end of a season? Maybe because I loved (except for the days I didn’t) having both boys home every day again and putzing playfully through summer days. Maybe because Tucker marched off excited on day one, sure he would have a great time in Miss Petrey’s class. Maybe because he was ready to make the change but I wasn’t.

Wasn’t it yesterday I was sitting for hours researching zero VOC paints and the radiation output of digital baby monitors? Wasn’t it yesterday he was chubby and delicious and I was the center of his world? Wasn’t it yesterday I had everything he needed and demanded in my arms? Wasn’t it yesterday we were dedicating his life to Lord in front of friends and family?

It wasn’t yesterday — it was a sea of yesterdays ago — back when I was sure Tucker would never grow big enough to wear those huge 24-month old sleepers. But he did. And then he outgrew them and kept growing.

As I packed his lunches last week I could feel my heart-heels digging into the floor, resisting changes that haven’t even happened yet. Memories come to mind of all those well-meaning folk who told me to “enjoy every moment” when I hadn’t slept more than a few hours for months and a simple shower seemed like a day at the spa. How ’bout YOU take them and enjoy every moment? Oh, you’re not volunteering to help? I didn’t think so. I had wanted to say.

It was a stressful, beautiful, terrifying, body-wrecking, soul-crushing, priceless raw adventure in love.

And now here we are.

I sleep. I shower. I’m not carrying anyone in my body, on my body (usually), or feeding people with my person. I didn’t think we’d ever get here. The gentle nudges of nostalgia made me go searching for Tucker’s baby dedication prayer. I couldn’t help wondering how it would hold up on the other side of four years:

Dedication Prayer

Father, thank you for being gracious to us. Thank you for our precious boy, John Tucker. Let him know even now how much he is loved — how much You love him; how much we love him. Make him a lover of You and a lover of people. May he live a life of love.

We entrust him to You. Thank You for Your faithfulness to our family from generation to generation; for grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins who love You and walk in your ways. Help us all to encourage Tucker in Christ. Make him into a mighty branch in his family tree that bears much fruit for life and healing. And thank You for the Church, his family in Christ. Give him a love for God’s people everywhere and a heart for unity, reconciliation, and fellowship.

Father, give Lydia and me everything we need to parent Tucker with wisdom and grace in the deep love of Christ by the power of your Holy Spirit. Help us to keep on receiving Tuck as a gift whose hairs and days are numbered by his Abba God. Do not allow the demands and details of life to distract us from your intended purpose for us as Tucker’s parents. Use us as an open door to You — a reflection that is a blessing and not a roadblock for him. Grant us patient, consistent, grace-filled, spirit-filled, brave, abounding, sacrificial love for Tucker at each stage of his life.

Make him a brave heart. Draw Tucker to Yourself and fill him with joy. Keep him safe from the evil one. Make him holy by Your truth. Teach him Your Word, which is truth. May he be a son of the Word, obedient, faith filled, spiritually enabled to give and receive grace; discerning and humble, courageous and compassionate. Give him spiritual wisdom and insight so that he might know who You are and what You care about. May your order be established and continually renewed in his life. Make him mighty in Spirit and truth. We ask for a gifting to speak truth in love. Flood his heart with light so that he might understand the glorious hope that is in Christ Jesus and unashamedly place his trust in Christ for his salvation, redemption, and resurrection. Father, bless Tucker and make him strong spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. We ask all of these things for Tucker with grateful hearts in the wonderful name of Jesus. Amen.

Did I mention tears? Yeah, that prayer still stands true for Pre-K and beyond.

My internal heel-digging relaxed in remembering what I am actually asking God to do for and in Tucker…for and in me. And sometimes it’s good to remember that even when I want things to remain safe, small, sweet, and the same, I don’t really want that. Or at least I don’t want to want that. And even when I do want it, Jesus knows why, and He loves me anyway. Loves me enough to cherish my tear swells and remind me that Tuck and I are growing up together, and it’s good.

So here’s to back to school, releasing the precious old, and receiving both the new and the re-new as we go.