24 Aug When You Feel Like Your Best Isn’t Good Enough

My mother-in-law and I trudged up the steep hill to a nearby park with spray fountains, something a little different for my son to do while his sisters were at Vacation Bible School. As my little boy ran up the hill effortlessly, we took a slightly slower pace due to the hot and humid July weather.

As we walked, I shared with her the challenges I am currently facing in this season of motherhood. “All four of them are at different developmental stages. They each require something very deep and and unique from me. I just feel like I’m falling short in so many ways,” I lamented to her.

She seemed to be quiet for a moment, letting my words sink in as she watched her grandson soak himself with the water. Then she said six words that pierced my heart – words I will never forget.

She looked at me with compassion and understanding and simply said, “You’ll do your very best..and your very best will still fail them.”

I don’t think at that moment she even thought she was giving me parenting advice, but she was. She was just speaking from a reservoir of multiple decades of mothering four children of her own.

She didn’t elaborate much. She left me to simply ponder that truth. Me, recovering perfectionist that I am, left to consider this important fact – I can give my all to my kids – the very best I have got to give them – and there will still be gaps, failings, areas where I fall short as a mother.

I looked long at my beautiful mother-in-law and took it all in. She who has suffered great loss; She who has given her best and can now look back through the decades and discern this truth: We can give our all as mothers and we will still fall short.

And guess what? I took these words for what they truly are – words of encouragement that point me to Christ.

Pointing Our Kids to Christ

When I give up on the illusion of meeting all my kids needs the right way all the time, I can be who I am meant to be – their loving but imperfect mother. And I can point them to Jesus as their true Savior – the only one who will always love them perfectly and promises to meet their every need by his grace.

And that’s really our greatest calling as parents. To point our kids to Christ and not to ourselves.

I love the story of how John the Baptist pointed his followers to Jesus: “The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, “Look, the Lamb of God!” When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus“(John 1:28-32). 

He didn’t try to hold on to any glory or any followers. He didn’t claim to be the Savior. But He prepared his followers to meet the Savior and then pointed them to Him once he was in their presence.

And that looks a lot like good parenting to me!

When I believe this truth about who I am and who God is in relation to my kids, it frees me up to be who I can be and to love them the way that only I can, flaws and all. When I embrace my limitations and weaknesses as instruments in the hands of God to demonstrate his strength, I am able to walk in trust and peace that He is in control, sovereign over my kids lives and over mine as well.

He is leading, guiding, and shepherding me as I seek to lead them.

He is holding my hand as I seek to hold theirs.

His steadfast love is quick to meet me every morning as I ask for help in parenting.

How about you? Have you felt like you’re falling short in this parenting journey? Guess what? We all are! The good news is that we can point them to the only one who will never fail them – the one who will continue to walk with them and shepherd them long after we am gone.

And the greatest gift we can give ourselves as we parent our kids is to let the Lord parent us – to lift our heads when we fail, to satisfy us with his mercy, To comfort us with his unfailing love.