22 Jun When There’s Not Enough of Mom to Go Around

We were sitting on the couch in our living room – all six of us. My husband had called an informal but necessary “family meeting.” Why? Well, for one, I was so stressed that I was experiencing heart palpitations. I told him I just needed a break from the kids and the chance to do some deep breathing.

He gave me what I asked, but before he sent me up to my room for some alone time he called the kids into the room. “Kids,” he asked quite lovingly, “Who wants more time with mom?” Everyone in my family raised their hands (including my husband). Notably, my toddler did not. He just clung to me and said “My mommy.” That about sums it up.

A Heart at Rest in a Sea of Need

I have four kids. You may have more or less than I do, but as moms we all come face to face daily with our inability to meet all the needs of all the people in our lives all the time.

My husband encouraged me in that moment to consider how I can live with a heart at rest in the midst of a sea of need. This is not easy when all I see before me is the sea of needs. Let’s talk about the sea of needs for a minute, because they are really real and honestly important.

There are the basic human needs of feeding, clothing, and caring for my children. There are the intangible but deeply important emotional needs of my family members as well. There is the need to connect with my older children in deeper ways relationally and emotionally.

For instance, getting a note on my bed at 10pm from an older child of “Mom, can we just spend some time cuddling tomorrow?” Can simultaneously invoke feelings of deep desire (to cuddle!) and guilt (we haven’t cuddled! She needs to cuddle!).

Add to that two others who just want to “have a date with mommy” or fight over who gets to sit next to mommy at read-aloud time and a little boy who claims his place on mommy’s lap as an authoritative right and it’s not hard to see how I could start having heart palpitations.

And yet, this can’t be where I stay (unless I want to have a nervous breakdown). This is where GOD comes in to lift my perspective towards His place on the throne over the heavens, the earth, my family, and my heart.

You Are Not in This Alone

As I sat alone in my room that night practicing some deep breathing exercises and asking the Lord to bring peace to my anxious heart, God’s Spirit gently reminded me of these truths:

God has entrusted these children to me to care for and nurture. He knows what I am facing – every.single.need. He knows my limited capacity and my inability to be everything to everyone all the time. And He created me that way – you know, as a finite human being – that I might fully rely on Him to be my source of all provision and strength.

That night I soaked in the truth that I cannot meet every need in my family but that God can. He can direct my steps each day towards the good work He has called me to do that day. As I seek to meet my family’s needs to the best of my (limited) ability, I can at the exact same time point them to God who can meet them in their point of need with His unlimited capacity and abounding grace and love.

Guess what else I “happened to read” that night? This:

“So your hope as a parent is not found in your power, your wisdom, your character, your experience, or your success, but in this one thing alone: the presence of your Lord. The Creator, Savior, Almighty, Sovereign King is with you. Let your heart rest. You are not in this parenting drama alone. Your potential is greater than the size of your weaknesses, because the One who is without weakness is with you, and he does his best work through those who admit that they are weak but in weakness still heed his call.”
― Paul David Tripp, Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family

Lord, we bring every need (of our own and of those in our families) to you. Thank you for our inability to meet every need, which reminds us that you alone are the source of all grace and strength. We ask that you would guide us each day as we seek to serve those around us in your love. And we ask that where we are limited in capacity, you would help us to have hearts at rest, trusting that you will meet those needs with your abundant supply.