15 Jun When Friends Move: The Bittersweet of Letting Go

When I was about eight years old, my father got a job working for Delta Airlines which moved our family from Fruit Heights, UT to Gainesville, GA. I remember the pain that came into my heart when my parents told me the news. How could I possibly leave my two best friends, Ginger and Sarah? The thought was devastating to me.

I remember standing with them in their church parking lot the day we moved. The three of us exchanged parting gifts and then buried a little box of our “special treasures” together to be unearthed “one day.” We cried, we hugged, we said goodbye. And then our family got into our Volvo station wagon and began our long cross-country road trip.

I thought I might never have friends like Ginger and Sarah again, but within the year I met a few girls, Kristin and Molly, who I literally grew up with and are still like sisters to me to this day. As the wise saying goes, “When God closes a door, He always opens a window.“

Saying Goodbye to Good Friends

When my eldest daughter was seven years old, one of her very best friends moved to Indiana. In a moment, I was transported back to that parking lot with Ginger and Sarah and how hard it was as a child to have formed a strong friendship and then have to let go. As her friends’ mother is also one of my close friends, we were really able to walk through that process together.

This summer, four (yes four!!) of our good family friends are moving to different states. Some of this comes from choosing to plant our family in the transient D.C. Area, where it isn’t uncommon for people to come for a season and then leave.

Regardless, it’s never easy to say goodbye to good friends. Here are some thoughts that have helped me (and my kids) as we seek to navigate these transitions:

1. Embracing the Present – sometimes it is a temptation to pull back relationally when you know someone may not be in your area for very long (or vice versa) but this robs us of the relational gift we can receive in the present. Choosing to lean in and make the most of our times together will give us treasured memories for years to come.

My life-long friend Molly is moving to TX this summer. As a military family, they must make a move every two-three years. They have learned to waste no time in engaging in community and seeking to establish life-giving friendships. While they know their time is limited, they want to fully embrace where God has placed them today.

2. Catch and Release – My daughter and I have had some great conversations about letting go. We have talked about how truly loving someone means fully releasing our friends to set off into new adventures that await them, trusting that God has a great plan for them in the city where they are moving. We pray for our friends as they begin the next step of their journey. These moments also can afford us with fresh perspective on how God has placed us where we are for a reason.

3. Staying Connected – My daughter began to write her dear friend and they have kept up their friendship through letters and even a few in person visits! True friends are always with us in spirit and when we need them most, they are only a phone call away.

4. Recognize the Impact – Missing friends who have moved away and feeling the loss of their presence by our sides is an important part of recognizing the impact of their friendships. Yes, we want to release them and be excited for them. But it’s necessary to allow ourselves to feel the sadness of their departure. I can’t count the amount of times my daughter and I have just hugged each other and said how much we miss our friends who have moved away or wish that they were there for a certain event or experience.

5. Point to Our True Home – My dear friend Susan is moving to Kentucky in just a few days. As we sat on my back porch a few days ago, we prayed for one another and asked God’s blessing on each other’s families. It was a sweet time together as we were able to express our gratitude to God for our times together and our friendship.

Susan said, “Isn’t it amazing that we have eternity?” She encouraged me that we are always connected through the Holy Spirit and that yes! As believers we have forever in Heaven to look forward to as well.

Hebrews 13:14 says, “For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come.” As we or our friends move, we are reminded that every place we live on this earth is only a temporary dwelling. While the places we take up residence may change, friendships can last forever. Hallelujah!

Is your family moving this summer or do you have friends moving away? What are some things that have helped you to process these transitions? I would love to hear from you!