28 Mar Mom’s Need a Day Off, Too!

I pulled out of the driveway waving goodbye as I watched my two youngest children pressing their faces against the door, crying. It didn’t take being a professional lip-reader to discern what they were screaming: “Mommy! Don’t go!” And yet I went.

Why, you may ask, would I choose to disengage emotionally in that moment and put my foot to the accelerator? Because I have learned after having children for eight years that even Mommies need breaks too.

As a stay at home, homeschooling mom of four, Most weeks I spend all day every day with my kids – and I love it! I have personally chosen this path and take great delight in it. However, my beloved children can wear on my poor soul, which needs a break from time to time.

Four Hours Every Friday

I had to work at first to get the kids used to letting me go peacefully, and frankly, it still doesn’t happen smoothly sometimes, but I’m o.k. with that. What has helped the transition is simple: I explained to the kids that mommy is with them all the time and needs breaks, too. I’ve found that personally speaking because I am both mommy and teacher, one morning off a week is very helpful for de-stressing purposes.

My older kids accept this logically, but for my younger two, I have found that it has been very helpful to have the same babysitter come each week. She is amazing, loves my children, and has become like another member of our family over time.

Now it’s to the point where my baby boy runs to her and jumps in her arms when she comes to the door. It’s a beautiful thing. However, there are certainly days when things don’t go so smoothly and I let it be, knowing that our babysitter can handle it and the time I have away is limited and important for my personal sanity.

Why You Need Time Away from Your Kids

I don’t think I need to convince most of you, but if so, here are some of the reasons you need some time off from being “mommy”:

1) To remember that you are not just a Mommy. No, really. It’s true. Remember before you had kids, the stuff you liked to do that was super life-giving and fed your soul? Take a few hours off every week and do that. For me, it’s writing or getting out in nature and praying and studying my Bible. Sometimes I meet friends for a meal. But mostly, I write. It’s what I love to do when I have undisturbed space and time.

2) To help your kids understand you are not just a Mommy -My older daughters have come to respect my need for alone time and I think they see the health of that boundary that I have created. They also inquire of the things that I like to do when I get out and it helps them get to know a different side of me than simply “meal maker” or “house cleaner” or “Play date organizer.”

3) To gain God’s perspective on your kids and family life – I have found that it takes me getting out of my house and having space from my kids in order to gain a better perspective on how things are going for our family. I can pray and ask the Lord for wisdom on how to mother my four year old through a rough patch of discipline issues when she’s not right in front of me, screaming in my face.

4) To recharge your battery – when I have no breaks and am running on empty, I tend to snap more easily and lack patience with my children. When I make it a habit to get away and get refreshed, there is space for me to remember how great these little people are and how, regardless of what they are going through, I love them with all my heart. I often go back to them with heart more filled up and ready to serve again.

Overcoming Obstacles to Getting Away

Maybe money is an obstacle to you taking the morning off. Consider tweaking your budget if you can to afford getting a babysitter for a few hours. If that doesn’t work, it might work to drop your kids at a friends house for a few hours a week and you exchange the favor for her so you both get time off.

Moms who work outside the home and moms who work in the home both need regular time and space to get refreshed and filled up in order to serve again.

If you don’t get some time off regularly, I’d encourage you to do what it takes to make it happen. You soul (and your family!) will thank you for it when you come back refreshed and renewed.