12 Jan Confessions of an Irritable Mom

I stomped into the living room in a fury, hands on my hips. My daughter who was sitting quietly reading looked up at me, “What’s up, Mom?“

“This whole room is a complete mess!” I said in exasperation. “Clean it up NOW or you won’t be going to your friend’s house later.” Sighing, she put her book down, mumbled something of an apology, and started picking up the room.

I wish I could say my reign of fury was satisfied. It wasn’t. I moved on to my next victims. My two younger daughters were playing with their dolls upstairs, where their clothes had been strewn haphazardly across the floor. “How many times have I told you NOT to leave your clothes all over the floor? I wash your clothes and all I ask is that you put them away in your drawers if they are clean or in the hamper if they are dirty.“

I issued my directive with gusto and whirled around to stomp down the stairs, where I frantically began cleaning the kitchen and cooking dinner, mumbling to myself about how the nothing ever seems to stay clean.

Confessions of an Irritable Mom

Here’s the issue: I have four young children who act like four young children and I wonder why they can’t just “get it together and be responsible adults already.” Ok, I’m joking, but here’s my real problem: I want my children to learn and grow in their ability to do their chores, clean up their messes, do their schoolwork, and treat each other with kindness.

All these things are great, except for the fact that I want them to learn it NOW. Yesterday, actually. Slow and steady wins the race, or so the saying goes. Everything living grows slowly and steadily when it is nourished properly. And that is how growth happens – slowly, steadily, intentionally, quietly.

I teach my six year old how to sweep the kitchen floor. I model for her how to move the chairs, to nudge each corner of the room, to cover all the hidden spaces. And yet, the following day when she applies herself diligently to the task, there are entire portions of the floor still covered with crumbs. Why is this?

Because learning takes time.

When it comes to giving grace, I am often short-sighted. I expect grace from others when I am learning something new or seeking to grow in an area of weakness and yet I can demand unreasonable progress or growth from my children instead of giving them ample time to learn a new skill or grow in an area of weakness.

Hope and Healing for the Chronically Irritable

I don’t want to use the fact that this is an intense season of life as an excuse to snap on my kids or act like a Drill Sargent when I get stressed out.

I am confessing to God first and to my children second that I am a sinner and I need my Savior’s help to change. Because he is long-suffering with me, I can be long-suffering with a child who just can’t seem to get her socks and shoes on in a timely manner or forgets time and time again to put her coat in the closet.

I don’t want to be someone my kids walk on eggshells around. I want to be someone who challenges them to grow and then gives them ample time and space to do just that.

There is hope and healing for us chronically irritable moms at the Cross of Christ. When we humble ourselves at his feet, He will teach and lead us in the ways of patience, humility, and love.

Let us then forgive ourselves as Christ has forgiven us. Let us reject shame and condemnation and arise each day asking God for the exact same thing we are praying for our children: to grow slowly and steadily into the character of Christ.