05 Jan Raising Gritty Kids

“Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quite another.”
― Angela Duckworth, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

I recently listened to a book on CD called “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth. Ms. Duckworth’s TED Talk on the subject of grit compelled me to check out her book from the library for further study.

Grit, according to a study done by Duckworth and her colleagues, is defined as passion and perseverance for long-term goals. “Grit entails working strenuously toward challenges, maintaining effort and interest over years despite failure, adversity, and plateaus in progress.“

“The gritty individual approaches achievement as a marathon; his or her advantage is stamina. Whereas disappointment or boredom signals to others that it is time to change trajectory and cut losses, the gritty individual stays the course.“

One thing that really stuck out to me as I listened to this book was that grit is a quality that can be learned. According to the numerous examples throughout the book, talent and opportunity matter far less than passion and perseverance.

Grit = Passion and Perseverance 

Anyone who has ever run a mile knows that endurance is not something that develops over night. When I first began distance running as a teenager, I began with half a mile, then a mile, then five minutes more, and so on. After running nearly daily for about six months at the age of 17, I ran 13 miles straight for the first time.

Become proficient or skilled in any activity or pursuit takes commitment and discipline. While you may have a natural talent for gymnastics, if you do not put in the hours at the gym practicing your routines over and over again, there’s no way you’ll be heading to the Olympics any time soon.

While neither we nor our kids may have an ambition to become Olympians, we all have talents that have been entrusted to us by God as well as areas where we would like to grow personally. In order to see growth occur, we must schedule time into our daily or weekly routines to develop in these areas.

Doing Hard Things

My first grade daughter just memorized a poem during her grammar work this month. It summarizes the value of discipline and work ethic well:

Work by M.A. Stodart

Work while you work, play while you play;

This is the way to be happy each day.

All that you do, do with your might,

Things done by halves are never done right.

When my daughter memorized this poem, she was having a hard time completing her school work without a lot of complaining and drama.

We were able to use this poem to have a discussion about working with all our might for the glory of God.

Teaching our children to do hard things requires effort and consistency on our part. One thing the “gritty individuals” in Duckworth’s book had in common is that the majority of their parents were both encouraging and demanding.

While we may think that our kids will only grow up to be “gritty” if we push them hard, it is pretty clear that motivation and encouragement are essential to gaining perseverance.

For instance, I may challenge my child to practice her piano regularly in two different ways:

Exhibit A: “Think about all the songs that you’ll be able to play if you continue practicing each day. Before you know it, playing with both hands will become much easier!“

Exhibit B: “You will work harder and do a better job, whether you like it or not!“

It’s easy to see the difference between the two voices when you write them on paper. One voice calls out the potential passion for growth and mastery that exists in each of us; the other turns practice into an act of begrudging compliance for the sake of another.

I hope this reflection on grit will encourage you to think about how you are investing your time and talents as well as how you are encouraging your children to do so as well.

It is up to us to do the daily work that is needed to develop our gifts and interests with passionate perseverance, not merely for the result of outward success or to please people, but as an act of faithful obedience to the Lord who calls us.

What motivates you to keep working on a hobby, talent, or project? Share your stories in the comments below.