07 Sep 8 Ways to Foster a Peaceful Home Environment

Romans 12:18 gives us this admonition: “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” Everyone does mean everyone, but if we are honest, usually the people that bring out the most anger and impatience in us are those who live within our own home.

Why is this? Proximity, my friend. We have many more opportunities to interact with our family members and therefore more opportunities to become impatient and irritated with them.

As a mother, I set the tone for my home. So does my approach to the day.

Another mother once put it this way: “You set the atmosphere in your home. If you set your thermostat at a comfy 73 degrees, everyone else adjusts around it.“

Life is full of unexpected trials and messes – this is a given to being human. There are, however, many elements of our daily lives over which we have control.

I’m learning that for my sanity and for the sake of my family, I must bring predictable aspects of our daily life and regular responsibilities before God and prayerfully create a plan to execute them in a way that promotes peace, order, and love in our home.

8 Ways to Create a Peaceful Home Environment

Running a tight ship doesn’t have to mean ruling with an iron fist. What it means is that you create a realistic plan for the proper running of your home that takes into account the needs of every person in your family along with all necessary chores and maintenance.

Here are 8 things that have helped me to foster a peaceful home environment:

1. Write It All Down – quarterly, write down every single thing that you regularly do. Take a few hours to think through those responsibilities and consider if there is anything that you can do to make the completing of those tasks more efficient.

2. Delegate – my mantra this fall is, “Delegate, delegate, delegate!” Now that my eldest two daughters are almost 8 and 6, there are many tasks that I can delegate to them. Here are some pictures of the chore charts that I have created for my girls (ages 4, 6, and 8):

3. Plan to Be Present with Each Child – Having four kids means very simply that there is never enough of me to go around. If I am going to have special cuddle time with my three year old, I have to plan for it. I have to have that time when I put my baby down for a nap, otherwise he will rally for my affection and my attention will be divided.

4. A Time to Clean Up – I added to each of my children’s chore charts, “if you got it out, put it away where it belongs.” Instead of picking up all day long, I’ve also instituted a 12-minute timed clean up party while I am cooking dinner. I crank up the music and each child is assigned a room to clean. So far they have been doing a fabulous job! A set time to clean up keeps me from nagging them all day about little messes – they know that our main clean up will be before dinner.

5. Starting the Day Right – 5 days a week, I plan to go to bed earlier so that I can get up earlier and have exercise and prayer time before the kids need me. This puts me in a good frame of mind and body to engage them mindfully rather than being over-tired and irritable from the get-go.

6. Making Room for Margin – Margin is essential in creating a peaceful home environment. If I try to cram too many activities, my kids (and my body) tend to cry out in revolt. Leaving ample room between activities when possible also reduces arguments and anxiety to, “hurry up! Get your shoes on! We’re late!”

7. Choosing Extracurricular Activities Wisely – I read a book several years ago that was transformative in the way I view my role with the kids called “Hold On To Your Kids.” In this book, the authors argue that many families in America lead fragmented, individualized lives that do not provide the familial stability children need to thrive.

Instead of having four kids in four different activities and me spending my whole life driving them around, we’ve decided to streamline our lives and choose one activity each season that all the kids will do. Currently that consists of gymnastics in the fall and winter and swim team in the summer.

What strategies have you used to foster peace and order in your home? I would love to hear from you!