22 Oct Sixteen Years of Grace

Today you drove to the University of Maryland as I rode in the passenger seat beside you. You studied the traffic at each junction, listening to my instructions and stopping completely at each stop sign. When you pulled up in front of the swimmers entrance I said what I always say – “Have a good swim!” and you waved, smiling, bag on shoulder, spring in your step, always ready to tackle another hard workout.

I sit now at a picnic table on campus and marvel that in a couple short years you will, Lord willing, be living on a campus probably much like this one – launching into independence and adulthood. But we aren’t there yet, and just like our daily rides reflect, I am still right beside you and I thank God for our time together. Today I am sitting in this moment – this last day of your fifteenth year – and remembering with fondness and tears of joy and unapologetic nostalgia the Gift of You over the last sixteen years.

Grace – your life – every single hour and day – has been a gift of God’s good, loving, intentional GRACE. I had many amazing adventures before you came along, but all of those other experiences pale in comparison with being your mom. Starting with your conception and then birth, God taught me that He knows what you need better than I ever will and cares about every detail of your life.

When I went into labor, it was too early for you to be born at home and I didn’t feel ready yet. I was worried that there might be complications because you weren’t “full term.” But as I cried in fear, your daddy reminded me that earlier that day as I had ridden the metro home from work, God had spoken to me. I was dreaming about you and what you would be like and, gazing out the train windows I asked God a question: “Lord, will Grace be early, or late, or on time?” It was a rhetorical question for sure and I didn’t expect God to answer, but it was certainly a way of crafting my pregnancy anxiety into a prayer.

As I sat on the train, I heard the Lord’s voice whisper to me, “She’s six pounds.” “I marveled why I was given an answer to a question I didn’t ask. However, after my water broke prematurely just a few hours after that train ride, the word “She’s six pounds” meant something more. It meant to me that though you were arriving earlier than planned, you were a healthy weight and I had peace in my heart that you were going to be just fine as labor progressed.

And just moments after you were born, a nurse placed you on a scale and there it was for all to see – 6 pounds, 0 ounces. I gazed agape at a word fulfilled. Grace, on this your sixteenth birthday I want to remind you with joy that from the very beginning God has been intimately involved in every moment of your life, caring for you each step of the way.

Psalm 139:13-16 in the Message translation reads “Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” I had the first few verses of this made into a decal and pressed onto your nursery wall just to remind me of how perfectly God made YOU.

Even as a front row observer of your life, I know that I only see in part the glorious person that you are, but here are just a few of the qualities I see:

Grace, you are loving. From your childhood, you have poured out love and kindness on those around you and desire to care for and encourage others. This shows up in lots of listening to your younger siblings and friends and that brings me to a second observation.

Grace, you are discerning. I love observing how you grow through experiences and trials and learn from each one, taking God’s lessons and storing them in your heart for the future.

Grace, you are a worshiper. I remember coming to tuck you in at night when you were just two or three years old. I paused at the door when I heard you singing a song of worship to God that you were writing on the spot – a song of praise to your God – sung from the heart of a child. You still sing – spontaneously around the house throughout the day – and we all love to hear your beautiful voice. I want to encourage you as you continue to grow that whether it is through your voice, or your violin, your words or your walk – your whole life is an act of worship.

Grace, you are focused. There are more adjectives to choose from here – determined, hardworking, resilient, and gritty come to mind. One memory that comes to mind out of hundreds is this – when you were ten years old auditioning for the lead violin role of your youth orchestra, you had to provide an audition tape. I had some sort of flu at the time and felt awful, so I remember taping you play your audition piece about thirty times. After the first ten times, I said in exhaustion, “Ok, that time was great. Can we just send it in?” to which you replied, “No! Do it again! It’s not there yet!” Sure enough, you were right, and won the spot of principal second violin in the orchestra. You have applied the same focus and intentionality with all your goals – whether musical, academic, athletic and more.

Grace, you are exquisite. The bottom line is, there is no one like you. You are beautiful inside and out and you are making this world a better place, bringing God’s kingdom wherever you go. As you step into 16, I want you to know that I am happy to hand you the wheel this year in more than one way. At the same time, I want you to know that I will always be here for you and love you more than words can express.

Love always,
Mommy