17 Mar Tips for Doing School at Home

COVID-19 has thrust many parents unexpectedly into the role of being their child’s teacher at home while still trying to keep up with their own work load. Friends, if this is you – hang in there. Nothing about what is happening in our country right now is normal. Until we return to normalcy and your child/ren are back into their normal school routine, I would like to share with you some tips about doing school at home.

The stuff I’m sharing has all been “field-tested.” That means, when we didn’t do it, either me or the kids (or all of us) devolved or escalated (depending on the situation). Like Maria Montessori, I have tried to take note over the years of what failed dramatically and where we had a “winning” experience and why. Nothing I’m sharing has anything to do with the curriculum you are using. If you are learning traditionally, classically, or another method, that’s not what I’m focusing on today.

I’m talking about the simple reality of having your kids at home all day and being expected to help them keep up with their studies when you weren’t planning on it at all. I woke up this morning with my heart full of a desire to be of help to any of you who have been put into this unexpected situation. So, here are the tips I gathered together after I had some coffee in me this morning. No, this list is not exhaustive. No, it doesn’t talk about each subject we cover and when. I’m just talking about the nuts and bolts of keeping all the sweet household wheels running and not killing each other – sound good? Read on.

Have a Family Meeting – why? Because there has been a massive change to each of your daily lives. Talk through their worries and fears and your own. You may want to come up with some house rules if you haven’t before or adapt the ones you have for your new normal. This is likely going to test your relationship with your child/children in new ways, so talk about it and make a plan to give each other lots of grace and space and respect, etc.

Have a Schedule. I know, I know. Maybe you aren’t normally a schedule person when you’re with your kids. Maybe your life is a beautiful symphony of creative and spontaneous flittering from activity to activity. Ok, so, that ain’t gonna work right now. Gotta #adult and make a schedule. Probably not for you. Probably you’re good, if caffeinated. You know what to do and you do it, I’m guessing. This is for your kids (and for your sanity). In our house, I’m pretty no-nonsense about this because I have 500 kids (ok, four). Put your schedule on the fridge or a primary location where everyone sees it so that each person knows what is expected of them. Then stick to it (other than emergencies of course). I have seen over and over that kids thrive and feel more secure when they know what is expected of them and how to prepare for that.

Let the Schedule Begin Before they Eat Breakfast – what in the world do I mean? I mean, this is what is written on my fridge in bold letters which has kept me from screaming at my kids more than once: Before you come downstairs for breakfast Monday – Friday, do the following: brush your teeth and hair, change your underwear and clothes (can you guess why I had to add underwear? Yeah, sometimes it doesn’t happen), pick up the floor in your bedroom. You may have other things you want to add. The key is they come to the breakfast table dressed and ready to begin their day.

Start with Gathering Together – we begin our day together in prayer and Scripture/devotional reading over breakfast. We share prayer requests and often spend 30-40 mins together discussing our reading or praying. And it doesn’t need to be this long, either. Sometimes, we only spend 15 mins doing this. If you are not a religious person, this is simply a good time to check in on each other. “Do you have any concerns or thoughts as we begin this day?” Consider listening to an encouraging piece of music or giving each other words of affirmation. Something that you feel brings you together emotionally that helps your sense of family connections. At a minimum, go over your daily schedule to ensure that each child know what is expected of them that day and answer any questions.

As you plan out their daily schedule, consider the following: let them take breaks, set snack and meal times (our snack times are around 10am and 3pm – why? because I have found my kids will be in the kitchen all.day.long. eating if I don’t set snack times), set realistic goals based on the needs of every member of your home.

Do Work that Requires Your Help First Thing – obviously, if you have a call for work at 8am this can’t happen. No sweat. Big thing is to consider the reality that we are best when we have energy and so are our kids. Do the hardest work first. Save the easiest for when they have less bandwidth and energy.

Schooling Multiple Kids – If you are helping more than one child with their schoolwork, I have found it best to give one child work they can do independently while I work with the other child so that no one is wasting time waiting around for my help. If you have preschoolers, you will likely want to have family members take turns playing with or reading to your preschooler so that they aren’t just left to their own devices (trust me, not a good idea!!!)

Get Your Kids Outside – I don’t have to tell you why. If you’re a parent, you know.

Give Your Kids the Space and Room to Focus on Their Work – this might seem like a no-brainer, but it is likely distracting to your child if they are trying to work through a hard math problem in the same room where you are having a phone conversation. Each child is different about how much noise they can drown out. My eldest daughter can play beautiful violin music without a hitch while all her siblings are running through the house screaming and throwing things at each other. My second daughter quietly retreats to her room to do her math when I’m teaching her other sister in the same room because it’s too distracting. Give them the space they each require to succeed in their studies.

Study Your Child – When I was breast-feeding my first daughter, I obsessed over how much time she spent nursing because I wanted to make sure she was “full.” My mother in law gave me great advice – “Watch your child, not the clock.” I have absolutely applied this to homeschooling. Try to study how your child best learns. Maybe he loves being left alone to plough through all his course work in a few hours so he can play. Maybe she needs breaks every half hour to go outside and run around for a bit before she starts the next subject. Let them know that you want to help them find the pattern of doing their work at home that will work best for them. Maybe they get overwhelmed or start to lose steam after a certain time of day or when facing a subject or problem they find very difficult. This brings me to…

Perfection is the Enemy of Good Enough – this is one of my husband’s favorite things to say in our house. This next sentence is hard for me to write because I have lived through the reality of it over 100 times: Don’t let one math problem (or insert other school work) damage your relationship with your child. If they won’t do it and you’re losing your patience, take a break. Set it aside. Cuddle for a few minutes to re-bond. Take a walk. Get a snack. Try it again. And if at the end of the day, you didn’t get to cross everything off their list of school work, it is OK.

Read Aloud Time is Awesome – one of my favorite things to do with my kids is read books out loud to them. Choose a book that you all will like and try reading a chapter together a day. My kids make fun of me when I cry at the sweet/sad parts. It’s awesome.

Finally and most importantly, more time at home with your kids doesn’t have to mean chaos, confusion, or being at each other’s throats all day. It can be an INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY to bond with and grow closer to your kids in amazing ways. Experiment with your schedule, read your kids, study how it all impacts each one of you. Commit to staying curious. Learn as you go. Be flexible. And keep laughing through this pandemic. This too shall pass.

xoxo,

Laura