16 Aug Reflections on Turning 40

Every year on my birthday I spent time with the Lord reflecting on the year behind and praying into the year ahead. I have done this since I was 19. This year, upon turning 40, I have been extra reflective. Something about the idea of being “over the hill” will do that to a person 🙂

As I jotted in my journal reflections on turning forty, I couldn’t help but praise God. Forty isn’t bad at all. In fact, it’s pretty awesome.

Without further ado, here are my reflections:

1) At forty, I’m more sober minded about the brevity of life. I realize that I’m not invincible as I thought I was at 20. I also have had enough scrapes to know that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. And this truth inspires me to cry out to God to live whatever days I have on this earth well, which leads me to point 2.

2) At forty, I’m more “Carpe Diem.”  As a person who likes schedules and thrives on routine, the older I become the more apt I am to step into spontaneous fun with my friends who are 7s on the Enneagram 🙂 Because of Reflection #1, I know these moments are precious and may not come my way again. So let’s go for it!

3) At forty, I’m more laid back. Don’t get me wrong – I’m still a mom, right? So I still battle my fair share of worry for sure. But the older I get the more I see that in reality things (usually) don’t turn out as bad as my “worrisome thoughts” predict and the fears over “what might happen” steals my joy so I’d rather toss it with God’s help.

4) At forty, I’m more comfortable in my own skin. At 17, I battled anorexia and continued to fight disordered eating patterns and thoughts for many years. Over the last couple of years in particular, I just feel more at ease and at peace in my own body which has been tremendously healing for me. As Amy Carmichael said, “In acceptance lieth peace.“

5) At forty, I’m more dependent on God – The more life I live, the more I realize how insufficient I am to determine my own path (or my kids paths) and how desperately I need the Lord’s wisdom and guidance at each step, not only for direction but for grace and strength each day.

6) At forty, I’m more dependent on others – For several years in my late teens and early 20s, though I had great friends, I had more of a “Me and God” mentality, meaning, “I don’t really need others since I have God.” Hogwash. What a fallacy. I would be a big mess without my husband and my closest girlfriends who sharpen and encourage me in my walk with Christ often. These friendships get deeper, more vulnerable, and more fruitful as the years go by. It’s pretty amazing to walk intimately with someone over a decade or more. I don’t know a greater earthly gift.

7) At forty, I’m more grateful for everyday blessings. In my teens and twenties, I craved adventure and excitement above all else. I thought living for God meant I always had to be doing something crazy and radical. In my 30s I became aware of how present God is in the everyday and mundane and how God is at work all around us even when we don’t feel like it is. I’ve become more grateful just for quiet moments in nature or quality time with those close to me.

8) At forty, I have great hope for the future. It is a pretty awesome thing to look back over four decades of life and see God’s handiwork, guidance and fatherly care at every twist and turn, every high and low. This causes me to look forward in faith, trusting that he who has carried me from my youth will carry me into the years ahead.

How about you? Have you celebrated any milestones in your life lately? What reflections of thanksgiving do you have as you look back on years past? What hopes do you have for your future?