08 Feb Pruning to Produce Fruit

Sunlight sparkled on the translucent ice enveloping the landscape. Gleaming dollops of white drifted across a cerulean sky as the day broke shimmering and clear. A fresh morning; a new beginning. We received some glorious answers to prayer this week. For years, it seemed like nothing was happening and then all of a sudden, God moved.

For the first few days, I danced on cloud nine. It was all champagne bubbles and excitement. Then little by little, a bit of doubt, a dash of fear, and a touch of weariness encroached. Our news is wonderful, but what if something goes wrong and the big deal doesn’t close? What if this new role doesn’t pan out like we hope? We’re still a long way away from our modestly defined version of “financial stability.” What if we can’t make everything work?

Yikes! Way to look a gift horse in the mouth, Natalie! Without even realizing it, I let the perceived lengthiness of this difficult season steal my joy. These doldrums have the fingerprints of our sneaky foe all over them.  As I shared last month, the enemy specializes in stealing our joy.

Since we made the move to California, I feel like we’ve been staring up a giant mountain we need to climb, fixing our eyes on the trailhead in the distance. The trailhead isn’t financial stability, but the trailhead is a more stable, well-defined pathway to stability. This week, it was as if the Lord came alongside my husband (who has been free-climbing the mountain using all his wits and strength) with a golf cart and said, “Hey, are you ready for the trailhead?” Beleaguered yet hopeful, the answer was a resounding, “Yes!” After a quick zip up the mountain in God’s golf cart, we stand at the trailhead, cautiously optimistic about the future.

I’ve spent some time this week sifting through these surprising emotions, and two kernels of truth have emerged. First, the Lord has been doing some good work in me, Hallelujah! Second, we have to nip Satan’s joy-stealing in the bud.

Gardening in Grace

You may be familiar with the words of Natalie Grant’s song, “Help me want the Healer more than the healing, help me want the Savior, more than the saving.” In the angst and uncertainty of the last two years, I’ve been crying out to the Lord to fix me. I want to see things the way he sees things. I want my heart to be rightly oriented toward money and provision. I want to want to “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.” I want to want the Provider more than the Providing.

In his gracious lovingkindness, God has gently peeled off layer after layer of pride, vanity, and distrust. The hurdles of this season have made me encounter previously unplumbed depths of disordered thinking, bringing darkness into light. He is teaching me humility. He is teaching me that he is deliciously and lavishly good, even when his provision and timing look different than what I thought I needed. He is fixing me, and I’m so grateful. He prunes us, so that we may bear fruit.

Nip it in The Bud

If you’ll bear with my plant analogies, the phrase “nip it in the bud” perfectly encapsulates how to deal with Satan’s unceasing campaign to steal our joy. After a few days of funk, I needed to deal with this problem head on, in worship, in prayer, and in the declaration of truth. We need to cut off the downward spiral as soon as the descent begins, otherwise the climb back up is that much harder. I belted out worship as I changed a diaper (much to the delight of my baby) because the Lord inhabits the praises of his people (Psalm 22:3). I broke up with the fear, doubt, and anxiety I’d been entertaining during the drive to preschool by confessing my lack of faith out loud and inviting God to reorient my heart. Rather than diving into my workout, I spent a few minutes on the floor soaking in prayer. Want to nip those ugly feelings in the bud? Put down some roots! God has given us all we need to reclaim our joy in him. Whether the answer to your prayer is “yes,” “no,” or “not yet,” the remedy for your anxious heart is always a return to the presence of your Creator. “We must fix our eyes on the author and perfecter of our faith…” (Hebrews 12:2)

Where is the Lord pruning you in this season? Have you ever let uncertainty and doubt steal your joy when a big prayer has been answered? Which spiritual disciplines help you renew your mind?