07 Nov Yelling is a choice.

Yelling is a choice.

Yelling is a choice. This is my ongoing battle as a mother. I am impatient, I want my children to hurry up.

I am (still) learning that being on time is never more important than speaking kindly. Homework // putting on shoes // fill in the blank is never more important than living and breathing patience. Obedience is not effective when enforced by fear.

And friends, it’s a difficult choice when my frustration wells up in my throat and swells my voice and my boys never stop moving, but never in the direction I want them to go. Once, I sent my oldest for shoes and she came back barefoot with pen and paper to write me messages about how much she loves me. What a gift to be able to swallow my anger and tell her how much I love HER.

Yelling is a choice, and I am desperate to choose joy, to choose gratitude over Satan.

“When I choose–and it is a choice–to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to take the way of the Prince of Darkness? Choosing the angry way of Lucifer because I think it is more effective–more expedient–than giving thanks? ~ A.V. One Thousand Gifts

Scripture is ripe with the topic.

• “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly” (Proverbs  14:29).
• “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires” (James 1:19-20).
• “Do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21).

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to raise children who are discouraged by my voice. And friends? How can we love our children sacrificially and joyfully when they are discouraged and we are angry? 

The reality is that I set the tone of this household on a moment by moment basis. Do I discourage my children with impatience, sharp tones, and raised voices? Or do I choose patience and gratitude for my wee ones, and teach my babes that obedience can be joyful, that loving well takes time, and slow breaths, and sacrifice, and sometimes at the expense of punctuality?

How will you choose?