25 Aug Life with Four Kids

My favorite comedian, Jim Gaffigan, shares in his now-viral comedy sketch entitled “Four Kids” what it is like to be a dad of four kids. Gaffigan and his wife Jeannie are parents of five children now, but at the time of taping their fourth child had just been born.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that I watched this sketch on repeat during my postpartum period with my third daughter, crying and laughing through the whole thing. Perhaps my favorite line from this sketch is when Gaffigan asks his audience, “Do you want to know what it’s like to have four kids? Imagine you’re drowning and someone hands you a baby.” The audience erupts into laughter and I erupt into laughter/tears because #1 It’s so True! And #2 It’s my life!

Snapshots into “Room Sharing”

I grew up with one other sibling – my brother. We had our squabbles for sure, but we had our own rooms (on different floors of the house), different friend groups, and plenty of space from one another if we so desired it. We got along most of the time. Looking back, in many ways we lived parallel to one another rather than all up in each other’s business which has its pros and cons.

I never shared a room with someone else until college and it was my best friend, so I was all about it. My three girls, on the other hand, have shared a room together since the youngest turned two and got kicked out of the nursery for the sake of the new baby.

The challenges that are faced in this current set up are many (included, but not limited to my youngest moving furniture around the room at midnight and waking her sisters up and my oldest constructing a legitimately compelling architectural design for “How to Divide Up Our Room” so that she can just have some personal space). Overall though, my husband and I have decided that sharing a room is “good for them” and, to be honest, there’s no other option.

Snapshots into “Zone Parenting”

My mom said she only had two kids because she only had two hands and that way she knew she could keep us safe. I totally get that philosophy (love you, Mom!) but I, um, have four, so… I had to teach my kids to hold each other’s hands too. I also broke down and bought a cute little backpack for my toddler (a.k.a. “Leash”). My friend Amanda who also has four kids laughed when I texted her a picture of my little boy on a leash at the Denver airport last summer. She summarized the struggle to just keep her many kids safe when she wrote me:

With my first kid, I looked down on people who would ever “leash” their kids; With my second kid I had a little sympathy for them because I saw how challenging parenting more than one child can be, with my third child I seriously considered getting one myself, and with my fourth child I ordered one immediately.

When you have four kids, you are willing to put up with condescending or sympathetic looks from strangers (a.k.a. “The former you, who had it all together, kind of”) because you honestly just want your kid to live and are willing to put him on a leash to make that happen.

Snapshots of “Referee-ing Conversations”

I often have three kids talking to me at the same time while my toddler is pulling my leg and crying. Which explains why at nap time I lock myself in my room and have made a rule that “Mommy isn’t to be disturbed unless someone is bleeding.” And I’m totally serious.

Snapshots of “Multiple Simultaneous Crises”

Since I had my fourth child, I take two natural “stress-relieving supplements” per day along with my multi-vitamins and fish oil. Because I need them. I need all the help I can get, people. Here’s a little story that I now laugh at, but when it happened I was beside myself. Pop some popcorn and grab a cold drink. This is a good one.

In an attempt to be a “fun mom” I took my kids to a park with a creek that they love to play in. As soon as we got to the creek (which we had to hike to) one child said they had to go to the bathroom. Hmm, interesting. I said to go into the woods and do their business.

A few minutes later, another child has waded into the creek and cut their foot on a chain link fence that happened to be laying in the creek under the water (!!) As I am wading in to my knees to rescue her from said fence and trying to get the bleeding to stop, my toddler decides it’s the perfect time to try to learn to swim.

As soon as I see him take the plunge, I have to drop the bleeding child and attend to the semi-drowning child.  As soon as I come up from the water (up to my neck, in my clothes) I say I think we just need to go home now, sorry guys. And I’m ok with that.

But Wait – It’s Awesome!

Here’s my final snapshot into life with four kids (for today) because there are so many more I could share. It is just awesome. When I watch them playing together, having fun, and just doing life as a family I am in awe and so blessed that God would gift us with four amazing kids – our own little tribe of people.

There is lots of life, joyful noise, and blossoming personalities in our house. And I wouldn’t trade my life for anything, even if it means I have to buy food in bulk quantities for the next 20 years 🙂