12 Dec Teaching Our Children the Joy of Giving

The popular Christmas story “The Gift of the Magi” tells the tale of Jim and Della, a couple who love each other deeply but don’t have any extra money to buy each other Christmas gifts. Secretly, each decides to sell their most prized possession in order to buy something special for the other. For Della, this is her beautiful hair; She cuts it and uses the proceeds to buy a chain for Jim’s one great possession, a shiny gold watch that belonged to his father and grandfather.

As you may have guessed, Jim sells his watch in order to buy some lovely hair combs for Della’s hair. When the two exchange gifts, they realize what each had sacrificed for the other. The story ends as follows:

“The magi, as you know, were wise men – wonderfully wise men – who brought gifts to the new-born King of the Jews. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. Of all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the Magi.”

Cultivating a Giving Spirit in a Season of Getting

This Christmas season we are not in need. We have a roof over our heads and food on our table. In fact, we have more than enough. When friends or family ask me what I want for Christmas, I can come up with a few things. But I recognize them for what they are – wants and not needs.

Having wants is not a bad thing; meeting wants is not a bad thing. But as the Gift of the Magi portrays so movingly, there will always be a great joy when we give something that is costly to us in order to bless someone else. The equation goes something like this: deep need plus deep sacrifice equals deep joy.

Christmas wish lists are fine. Giving gifts to my children, who already have more than enough, is fine. Thoughtfully done, gift giving is a wonderful way to express love and to receive love.

I will, however, be talking to my children this Advent season about the greater joy of giving. Are we applying more mental energy dreaming about things we want or about things we will give?

Where our treasure is, there our hearts will be also.

My older children are old enough to have experienced Christmas several times. They know the momentary pleasure that comes when they open a new toy or present. They also know that usually within a few weeks, the joy they first experienced has faded and the toy has been tossed aside haphazardly in a search for something newer or more interesting.

When we think about the times we have chosen to give, we remember with joy a pleasure that remains rather than decays. So here are three things we can do as families to cultivate the joy that comes from giving:

1) Create “Christmas Give Lists” – this can not only be tangible things but intangible like “forgiving my sister when she hurts my feelings” (the gift of forgiveness) or “asking Daddy how his day went” (the gift of listening).

2) Read the Gift of the Magi to your children or listen to it being read online. Discuss as a family the joy that comes when we give of what we have in order to bless someone else.

3) Focus on the ultimate gift of God towards us – the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ – who gave up his life so that we could be sons and daughters of God.

What are some ways that you can help steer your family towards a “giving focus” rather than a “receiving focus” this Christmas? I would love to hear from you!