29 Sep Worry: The Biggest Waste of a Mother’s Time

Surfing Facebook? Pursuing Pinterest? Binge-watching Netflix shows? Pursuing Pokemon?

While all these activities may indeed distract us from more meaningful investments of our time, I would like to propose that there is a hidden but deadly enemy we women often mistake for a friend to our own detriment.

While the previously mentioned activities may squander valuable time, the enemy I am speaking of packs a deadly triple punch: It robs us of our peace and joy, subverts our faith in God, and squashes the beautiful gift of the present.

Worry: A Mom’s Greatest Enemy

The enemy I am speaking of is worry. I know that some of you may be thinking, “Well, c’mon, worry is just natural for moms; it’s practically built into our DNA!“

I would argue, however, that instead of worry being “an effective tool” in our mothering arsenal, it is actually a poison pill that leaves us sick with anxiety and paralyzed by fear. Scripture says it accomplishes nothing good.

Yes, we (and our kids) are actually much better off without our worry. In fact, when we reject this unwelcome bedfellow, we will find we sleep better and thrive in everyday life!

As moms, we have lots of really good reasons (we think) to worry. Here are just a few of them:

1) Your Child is Sick – maybe very sick. Whether we are talking about a high fever or cancer, there are similar temptations to fly into panic or despair. Here’s the problem: when we worry, we take our focus off of God and put it on our problem.

If we view our problem to be insurmountable and God’s power limited, our response becomes one of panic instead of trust.

Worry will not make your child better, but it can actually make you sick in the process! When we are wrought with worry, we are also unable to be a source of joy, peace, and laughter to our sick kids. And Scripture says that “A cheerful heart does good like medicine.“

A Better Solution: Be honest with God about your feelings. Check out Amy’s post on grief if someone in your family is dealing with a severe illness. Rely on your community of faith. Continue to place your trust in God to sustain you and your child. Replace worrisome thoughts with prayers of thanksgiving, supplication for healing, and request for patience to endure the affliction.

2) Your Child Isn’t Thriving in a Certain Area – maybe they are having a hard time making friends. Maybe you believe they are developmentally delayed. Maybe they just don’t like their teacher.

Just as worry cannot heal a sick child, worry cannot fix you or your child’s problems! In fact, panic often leads us as moms towards hasty and irrational decisions that hurt more than help.

A Better Solution: Listen to your child so that you can discover how you can help them. Affirm your child that you see what they are going through and that you will work through this issue together with God’s help. Seek the Lord for His peace and wisdom for the situation and wait for His guidance.

Befriend God’s Holy Spirit. Trust what God reveals to you in prayer and obey Him. When we focus our energy on obeying Christ and loving our children, we can even help our children understand how they can grow closer to God by leaning on Him through a challenging time. The two of you can grow in your faith together as you watch His plan unfold.

3) Your Child is Making Poor Choices  – We can have compassion on our kids when we recognize that we have all been rebellious children and need God’s mercy.

Maybe you are sitting up late into the night fearing for your child (these are just some of the “what-if’s” of worry: “What if he is kicked out of school?” “What if she continues on this path for life?” “What if he ends up in jail?” “What if her friends get her into drugs?”…)

A Better Solution: Change your “what-if’s” of worry into prayers that express your faith in what you know God wants to do for your child and believe the best for their future:

“Lord, I pray that he begins to love learning..”

“Lord, I pray that you will open her eyes to see that when she follows your ways, she will really be living the abundant life.”

“Lord, I pray that you will soften his heart so that he delights to receive our instruction.”

God loves it when we, like Him, see someone’s potential and call it forth. Worry will not change our child’s character, but it will rob us of our faith in a God who can.

What are your most common worries, dear mother? How can you shape your worries into prayers and leave your cares in the lap of your Heavenly Father?