01 Aug I Will Not Teach My Children To Live In Fear

I will not teach my children to live in fear.

My daughter broke her arm in November, falling from a playground structure. Frankly I’m surprised it’s taken this long. I land somewhere in the middle between helicopter mom and total free range mama, mostly veering towards the latter. I let them climb on all the things.

A hospital tech worker laughed when I spoke of my surprise. She said, “I bet you won’t be letting her anywhere near a playground for a long time.”

I laughed a little too, mostly because she couldn’t have been more wrong. I respect her instinct to protect her children, but I will not teach my children to live in fear.

I will cheer loudly from the sidelines when she climbs willy nilly all over the monkey bars because she is mostly unafraid, sure-footed and care free.

I will not teach my children to live in fear.

So, when I tell my small ones of the heartbreaking and callous evil manifested in Paris, in Nice, in Beirut, in Istanbul, in Orlando, in Baghdad, and a thousand other places that go largely unnoticed, I tell them the truth, and I tell them how we respond.

I tell them what happened, and we have an in depth discussion on who, and why, and practically speaking, what our plan as a family is in case of emergency. We touch on public attacks, knowing that Washington DC has been specifically targeted. We move on to house fires, and home invasion, and what to do if the grown ups are hurt or gone. We talk about the details because I want my children to be prepared.

Then we keep driving right on into the heart of DC to visit the zoo, the museums, and the National Mall because we will not cower at the threats from evil men.

All of this living-at the playground, in the workplace, as the church, in the public arena-every bit of our glorious, messy, and broken-but-redeemed life is a calculated risk.

The conversations on my social media are exhausting and they are, for the most case, distinctly lacking in grace.

I believe we can care for homeless veterans AND care for refugees in crisis. I believe we can support law enforcement in our communities AND seek accountability for the actions of some. I believe we can be passionate about the safety of our loved ones AND open our doors and hearts to the Others among us. I believe that no solution is quick, no solution is black and white, either/or, and no solution is jingoistic and one note. They are nuanced, complex, long term, and difficult. It requires courage, grace, and a willingness to look beyond ourselves. In the meantime, I REFUSE to let the actions of evil men change the arc of my faith and the depth of my compassion. 

I will not teach my children to live in fear.

For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men—as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God” (1 Peter 2:15-16). 

I set about to serve a Shepherd who loves us well and and sends us into the world to care for the least among us. We are unbound by borders, language barriers, and cultural divides. And our small lives living the truth of the gospel bind together in harmony, a heavenly chorus rising in concert to silence the ignorance of foolish and evil men.

We will advocate for the thoughtful reception of refugees in this country and elsewhere AND we will serve the poor and marginalized in our own communities. We will lean forward to love those that don’t look, smell, or act like us.

Is it risky? Yes. Is it worth it? Without a doubt.

I will not teach my children to live in fear.

~M.